January 7, 1999, 4:50 PM,
Honey and I said farewell to each other. I was holding her and singing to her and telling
her that it was OK to go. I had her cremated* and we will have a grave side ceremony for
her in the backyard, near the fence to look to the front and under the shade trees and
near the birds she loved to watch and listen, and under Grandfather Sun and Grandmother
Moon.
Bresqua Honey Smith was my canine companion for 13 years. She was about
5-7 months when she was given me and it was love at first sight. She was more than a
companion, she was a protector, confidant, healer and traveling partner. She was even more
than that.
For several years I had been looking for just the right guard dog,
looking at all the ads in the classified and checking them out. One day I answered an ad
that was to change my life forever. There was a lady by the name of Trudy who, over the
next three months, brought by an array of dogs for my approval. They ranged from the
German Shepard, great Dane, collie, to cockers, terriers, poodles. She would bring them
over and we would site and talk watching the dog of the moment and how each reacted within
the confines of the backyard. Many jumped the fence, many did not approach me and a few
just were not what I was seeking. Actually I wasn’t’ sure what type dog I
wanted. Because of recent happenings, I was encouraged to get a guard dog, so naturally I
went for the larger dog.
I told Trudy that I thought I would wait for a while, that it
didn’t seem to be the right time and I had to really decide what I wanted. Easter
weekend, she called up to say she had what she thought was the dog for me. She said the
dog, a female had an appointment with the vet on Monday to be spayed. If we didn’t
hit it off during the weekend, I was to just take her to the vet and leave her. But it we
became a twosome, I would pick her up when the vet was finished and pay only $5 for her
licence. I was still reluctant but said Ok. She cautioned me that this little female was
about 5-7 months old, had a lot of hot spots and looked scruffy, had been ready to be
"put down" because she was loose without a licence but Trudy was sure she was
just what I was searching.
Late in the afternoon, they arrived and we went into the backyard.
Trudy and I sat in the swing and allowed the female dog to check out the backyard. Before
she started, she came up to me an smelled me, then she sat down and just stared at me. I
knew then when our eyes met that she would be staying but didn’t want to jump the
gun. Something passed between the two of us. She seemed o sense it also. I reached out my
hand to pet her and immediately she shied away, cowing like I was going to strike her. She
had come from an abusive background and probably had run away because of it. After that
instant, she looked at me again and ran to each of the corners of the back yard, coming
back to me in between times. Then she came over and just lay down on the ground at my feet
looking out at the yard.
Trudy left after leaving some dog food and the instructions and name of
the vet and time of appointment. The only other time that we talked was when I called to
tell her that it was a match and I was picking the female up after her surgery.
This little dog had most unusual marking, she had a ‘cow
lick’ right between her eyes and her nose was dark with a patch of light pink. She
had a soft fine golden colored medium length coat except for the back and the tail which
was long course and dark. I thought she might be part German Shepherd because of the
texture and color of the hair. I asked the vet when I took her in for her checkup and he
said she was a mixture and yes it appeared that she had German Shepherd or other mix. She
had a small to medium build and never varied in weight after she was an adult of 20-23
pounds. She was a mix of toy golden retriever and German Shepherd. Because of the
beautiful honey color I called her Bresqua, but it was hard to say so we changed it to
Honey. We figured her birthday must be around September. Not surprised, I have had a lot
of Virgos in my life.
The trail period extended over the next few months. I did not raise my
hand, not my voice, rather I sat down in front of her and told her that I was displeased
that she jumped on the furniture, the bed etc. I laid newspapers on all the furniture at
night so I would hear when she jumped upon them. I would come in, sometimes catching her
and tell her that wasn’t what she was to do. This took patience and time but we
succeeded.
Many times when a man would come to the door, salesman, paper boy, etc,
she would set up such a howl and stay between me and the person at the door. Truly she
didn’t trust men but because we were so close she gave up her fear to protect me.
This happened on more than one occasion when there would be a man inside the house. Honey
always stayed inside while I had repairmen over or later when I had classes or gave
readings. She was a very good indicator as to the people I could trust and invariably
would always be right. One time, I was going with a man that Honey didn’t like. She
constantly growled and wouldn’t even come near for him to pet her. I thought in time
an adjustment would be made and all would be fine.
I was to accompany my mother on a trip to Hawaii that had been planned.
I decided to let my ‘friend’ stay at my house and take care of Honey, drive my
car etc. After we got in Hawaii, I became feeling very uncomfortable but when I called
back to see how things were going, was told all was fine. When I returned home
unexpectedly, found there had been a lot of parties with smoking (which I can’t
tolerate, I literally can’t breath) which I had indicated was not to happen in a list
of things to do and not to do. My trunk had been busted open ‘cause he had left the
keys in the car and couldn’t get in any other way’; Honey had run off and he had
a terrible time in finding her and even then, she wasn’t fed and had been left
outside most of the time even tho it was the worst winter storms in many years. Also found
that he had taken some of my things and sold them. Later took him to court and got the
money back. Had I taken Honey for what she was trying to tell me, none of this would have
happened. It was a valued lesson.
As we learned from each other, we grew. She didn’t know that she
wasn’t a lap dog. When I would sit down in the chair in the evening, she would jump
up and want to sit in my lap. Once in a while we would do this but when she would jump
just as I was in the motion of sitting down and her weight would literally propel both of
us back, this would stop. I would get down on the floor and sit at her level. We continued
to play in the back yard and she had a unique way of playing. When I would come out and
put my hands on my knees, she knew there would be together time. I would start toward her
in one end of the yard and she would come lopping up to me from the other end. She would
then turn sideways and literally throw herself at me. After a time or two of this
happening, I wasn’t sure how to play with her. She seemed to like this rough way to
play but she only did this with me. After she threw herself into me, I started bending to
my knees, she would turn over to her back and I would rub her belly. Then we would get up
and chase each other.
The airbase is near where I live and my house is right in the flight
pattern. The jets when on maneuvers during all times of the day or night are deafening and
cause the house to shudder. Honey had very sensitive ears and this was something she did
not like at all and she would howl until they stopped. During all the time Honey was with
me, I never tried to keep her from barking. Barking is a sign to alert someone to be
aware. She didn’t bark all the time just when she thought there was something amiss
going on. Later she would not seem to care due to the loss of hearing in her ears. She
would get a frantic look however because she would feel the vibrations of the jets and
start to tremble.
When I held classes, Honey was right in the middle of things, giving as
much energy as she was soaking. When we would circle for meditation, prayer, or healing,
she always was the one to lay in the center laying until it was over, then look up at each
of us and go off to the side and lay down. When I would give readings, she would come up
and either sit at my feet and lend energy or lay a little to the side and be every
watchful. Occasionally she would see who it was and go to lay in her bed.
Honey and I were meant to be together and share our energy and learn
much from each other.. We learned to share trust and knew what unconditional love is and
how it heals. We were two abused beings that were brought together to learn the joy of
trusting, healing, loving, giving and sharing.
Many are the nights that Honey would prick up her ears to hear the
spirit sounds and the tinkle of the wind chimes I have in each doorway in the house that
are not audible to most human ears. This was when we were alone and sometimes when we had
others present. She would also sense and see many of the spirit energies while I was
giving a reading, holding class or watching TV in the evening. I became aware who the
energies were and which ones she liked the best. Shortly after this happened, I noticed
when I would sit on the bed or middle of the floor to meditate she would sit as close to
me as possible without bothering me, sometimes with her head on my crossed legs. She would
help hold the energy while I was meditating.
Meditating in the bathtub has always been special to me and of course
Honey would come in with me to lay on the floor beside me. One time, I was just sitting
there soaking up the warmth of the water with my eyes closed thinking I would get into my
meditation shortly. When in my minds eye I saw Honey sitting staring at me. I opened my
eyes and sure enough, she was. She just kept looking at me. Pretty soon, she went over to
lay down with her head toward the door. I wondered what had just happened and slid down to
soak and closed my eyes again. I wondered if Honey wanted my attention then it was to
teach me something. My mind stilled and I thought maybe she was trying to read my mind. I
let my mind become blank except for thinking of what Honey wanted. Kept getting glimpses
of a line between her and me, me thinking of her and her getting up and coming over to me.
This went on for several nights. Each time Honey would come in she would lay with her head
facing the door, opposite to what had always been before. I centered myself, and
concentrated on thinking of Honey and calling her name. I looked up and she had turned her
head, then laid back down. The next several nights I did the same but added for her to get
up and come over to me. The next several nights the same things but in addition asked
mentally for her to put her paws up on the side of the tub. We then tried this away from
the bathroom and the meditation. I would be standing at the kitchen window and mentally
call her leaving the back door open. She would prick up her ears and dash through her pet
door and into the house. Yes, there was more than verbal communication between us.
This was the type of gentle training she was capable of giving and
indeed we would continue to do this until we said farewell.
Two years ago, March 1997, I made a commitment to Honey which I
faithfully, willingly and lovingly kept until we said farewell. One afternoon when I was
watching out the kitchen window while doing dishes, Honey was doing what she loved to do.
Making sure others (birds, animals etc) knew this was her backyard, her domain. About 14
months before we had a baby rabbit come to stay and made his home under the shed. Honey
didn’t like this rabbit that now had grown almost to full size and chased him
whenever she could. Today was no different. As I watched, she spied him and gave chase. As
I continued to watch, suddenly it seemed as if she had hit an invisible wall and was flung
backward, fell to the ground and lay motionless. I ran out to see what had happened and to
check on her, she was unconscious but still breathing. I carried her to the front yard,
tenderly laid her on the ground so I could get the car keys to take her to the vet. When I
came out, she was standing at the door, wagging her tail wanting in. Over the next several
days, in fact until we said farewell, as she was walking or just standing, she would roll
her eyes, stagger and then apparently be OK. I was sure that she was having small strokes.
The vet could not determine this for sure. I knew though.
At that time I made a commitment with Honey that I would stay with her
and give her all the love and devotion that she merited. During the year I would have a
pet-sitter come in to stay with Honey while I went on the "psychic circuit".
After my promise to Honey, I abstained from this, working only a few locally.
Over the next year or so, she continued to have these small strokes.
Now she would come up to me and ask for her Reiki sessions soaking up the healing energy.
She seemed to constantly want to be with me and as close as possible. Our sessions of
telepathy become more intense. Somehow, though, she was unaware that she was having these
small strokes.
When I made the commitment to Honey, we sat down and had a very long
intense talk. I told her that in no way did I want her to stay with me simply out of
devotion and that she had my permission to leave whenever her time came. She assured me
that she would let me know when that time came.
This time came on the night of the 3rd and the early morning of the 4th
of January 1999. Honey kept popping into my dreams. It was almost like the coming
attractions sequence at the movies, there would be short memories of our life together.
The night of the 6th into the morning of the 7th, I had not thought I had slept.
Apparently I had. I was settling into a comfortable position when in my thoughts Honey was
right there staring at me. I opened my eyes, sat up in bed to look, she was in her bed,
sleeping with her raspy constant breathing. Once again I settled myself and again it
happened, this went on for four or five times. I finally thought OK Honey, what is it you
want to tell me. She was right there. Her face close to mine, staring into my eyes. Over
and over for three times, the years we had been together were played out in front of me
like a moving picture. In the eh third and final ‘moving picture’, she showed me
with her in my arms and the vet bending over her with a syringe and we were looking into
each others eyes for the last time. That night, January 7, 4:40 pm, Honey and I said
farewell. She had told me in her way what I must do. All of her teaching was to come into
play and I had been a very good pupil. Fare thee well, Honey. I love you now and always
will.
Honey was cremated and a memorial service was held three weeks after
with an audience of one human, me and the whole backyard of birds and Peggy Sue, the
little dog next door. The ashes that were given to me after the long wait were not Honey.
Mementos, crystals, favorite toys, other precious items, my poems to her and the ashes of
the two other pets were buried in the area she occupied in life in the southeast corner of
the backyard.
I knew something had happened when the vet didn’t call in a timely
manner regarding her ashes. I knew that I would not receive her ashes. There was a lot of
mixup with the vet calling and leaving messages on my phone. The messages were never left
on my phone. The vet, that I have had for the last 25 plus years, had the wrong phone
number. Working with vibrations is something that I have been doing for a long long time.
Regardless the condition the vibrations remain the same. *The ashes in the beautiful
redwood box were of two other animals. One was a poodle and the other was a Siamese cat
and just a portion of each. The burial took place in two parts. The first was for Honey
and the second for the two pets who would share and be remembered. Honey did not want to
be placed in the ground. We had said our goodbys. Cut the ties that bind you to the past
and go on with living. This was the message that through circumstances came through loud
and clear. Honey is now with me all the time. I don’t have to worry about hurrying
home to feed her or get her in out of the weather. We continue our training and she is
with me when I do readings, especially when they include loving pets.
I am writing a book about our life together. There are many many other
experiences that I chose not to go into here because of length. Writing several articles
and starting this book has been very therapeutic for me in many ways.
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WHITE DOVE'S MESSAGE 
